I have found a way to solve the class balance problems that have plagued us,
dear WoW players, for over four years. I have devised a scheme wherein players
will be able to maximize their skills in such a way as to not need complicated
math equations or complex algorithms to track if now is a good time to sit down
to eat, or if one should wait, never mind which spell or ability is the better
option. Let me explain my new system, I'll call it the K.I.S.S. system I
think.
All players who have offensive spells will do one damage per attack. It doesn't matter if this attack is magical or physical, ranged or melee, it will do one damage. All bosses will do two damage, cause they are at least twice as good as an average player. A healer will, per cast, heal their target for one point of health, but occasionally will get two points. We'll call that the new crit. There will be no way to improve the chance of a crit. No players or bosses will crit, only healers.
Now for health. Bosses will have one hundred health, with a ten health bonus for each person in the offending party over the healer and DPS. Players will have ten health. Healers can heal themselves, but have no offensive capabilities. DPS cannot heal themselves. Hunters, Death Knights, and Warlocks will no longer have pets. All enchants will be removed from the game. All spells and abilities will be merely for effect, and will not differ from one another. Bosses and players will all be within range of all attacks. AoE will be removed. In fact, let's just remove armor stats and classes from the game completely. There will simply be Bob, who is short and likes his frilly dress, and Joan who likes the shiny metal she wears. Neither will live longer than the other barring healer failure.
This new system will in fact solve many different problems. Gear arguments will simply be a matter of what each player thinks is prettier, class balance will be a thing of the past, and all fights will be completely generic. There will be no hard modes, no challenges, no loot, and no need for damage meters or healing meters. In fact, I would imagine over healing would likewise be lost to the annals of history. So there you have it, the Keep It Simplistic Stupid system of MMO class balance. What do you think?
All players who have offensive spells will do one damage per attack. It doesn't matter if this attack is magical or physical, ranged or melee, it will do one damage. All bosses will do two damage, cause they are at least twice as good as an average player. A healer will, per cast, heal their target for one point of health, but occasionally will get two points. We'll call that the new crit. There will be no way to improve the chance of a crit. No players or bosses will crit, only healers.
Now for health. Bosses will have one hundred health, with a ten health bonus for each person in the offending party over the healer and DPS. Players will have ten health. Healers can heal themselves, but have no offensive capabilities. DPS cannot heal themselves. Hunters, Death Knights, and Warlocks will no longer have pets. All enchants will be removed from the game. All spells and abilities will be merely for effect, and will not differ from one another. Bosses and players will all be within range of all attacks. AoE will be removed. In fact, let's just remove armor stats and classes from the game completely. There will simply be Bob, who is short and likes his frilly dress, and Joan who likes the shiny metal she wears. Neither will live longer than the other barring healer failure.
This new system will in fact solve many different problems. Gear arguments will simply be a matter of what each player thinks is prettier, class balance will be a thing of the past, and all fights will be completely generic. There will be no hard modes, no challenges, no loot, and no need for damage meters or healing meters. In fact, I would imagine over healing would likewise be lost to the annals of history. So there you have it, the Keep It Simplistic Stupid system of MMO class balance. What do you think?
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